Art journaling this morning and listening to Pandora, Tori Kelly begins to sing Hallelujah. Every cell in my heart, soul and body savor each word and note. I begin to hear my father’s voice in the words and he speaks to me:
I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
My heart ached knowing that my father tried so very hard to be who he was, and I believe he sometimes felt that it wasn’t good enough. He was sad sometimes and I didn’t always know why. There are things we carry in our bodies that we can’t even remember how it came to be.
But, he sang, and he worked and he played and he loved.
And, he did his best.